我有一条黑狗，它名叫抑郁。

每当这黑狗出现，我就感到空虚，生活也慢了下来。它总不期而至地出现在我的面前。

黑狗让我变得像个老人一样，整个世界好像都在享受生活，我却只能与黑狗相伴。那些曾带给我快乐的事情，忽然消失了。

它让我失去食欲，它蚕食掉我的记忆力和集中精力的能力。拖着这条黑狗，无论去哪里或者做什么，都需要超人的力量。

在社交场合，它总会找出我的自信，将其赶走。我最害怕的是被人知道，我担心别人会议论我。黑狗带来的羞愧和耻辱，我总是担心被人知道。

于是，我很用力地把它藏起来，掩藏情绪的生活，让人精疲力竭。黑狗让我消极地思考和言谈，它让我烦躁不安，难于相处。它夺走了我的爱，埋藏了温情。它最爱在半夜把我唤醒，心中只有那些消极的念头，让自己知道自己将会面对，多么心力交瘁的一天。生活中有一条黑狗，不仅仅是感到一点低落、悲伤或者忧郁。最糟糕的时候，所有的感觉都会失去。

我一天天地变老，黑狗一天天地长大，它开始不离我的左右。我用尽了一切办法，想把它赶走，但获胜的往往是它。和重新站起来相比，躺倒变得更容易。我成了给自己开药的专家，但从未真的有效过。最后，我感到自己，和整个世界失去了联系，黑狗终于绑架了我的生活。

当生活不再有丝毫快乐，你就开始质疑生活的意义。

幸运的是，那个时候我寻求了专业的帮助。那是我迈向康复的第一步，也是我生命的一个转折点。我了解到，无论是谁，无数的人都在被这条黑狗所侵扰，任何人都可能被它袭击。

我还了解到，不存在什么万能灵药或魔法药丸，药物对部分人有帮助，其他人还要辅以另外的手段。我还了解到，向亲近的人表达出自己的真实感情，能起到关键的疗效。最重要的是，我学会不再害怕黑狗，甚至向它耍了一些自己的花招。你越是疲劳和紧张，它就叫得越凶，所以学会让自己平静下来，很重要。

临床证明，经常锻炼对于缓解轻/中度抑郁的效果不比抗抑郁药差。去走走，去跑步吧。把这条笨狗甩在后面。记一份情绪日记，把想法写在纸上是种宣泄，往往也有助于看清问题，也记录下那些值得感恩的事情。最重要的是要记住，不管情况变得多么糟糕，只要你走向正确的方向，找适当的人交流，黑狗降临的日子一定会过去。

我不会说我感谢这条黑狗，但它却是个神奇的老师，它迫使我重新认识生活，让它变得更简单。我认识到与其逃避我的问题，不如拥抱它们。黑狗也许将永远是我生命的一部分，但它再不会是以前的那只野兽了，我们达成了理解。通过学**知识、耐心、克制和幽默，最凶狠的黑狗也可以被制伏。假如你身处困境，一定不要害怕求助，这样做一点都不丢人，只有错过生活才是遗憾。

I had a black dog. His name was depression,

Whenever the black dog made an appearance,

I felt empty and life seemed to slow down.

He could surprise me with a visit for no reason or occasion.

The black dog made me look and feel older than my years.

When the rest of the world seemed to be enjoying life, I could only see it through the black dog.

Activities that usually brought me pleasure, suddenly ceased to.

He liked to ruin my appetite.

He chewed up my memory and ability to concentrate.

Doing anything or going anywhere with the black dog required super human strength.

At social situations, he would sniff out what confidence I had and chase it away.

My biggest fear was being found out.

I worried that people would judge me.

Because of the shame and stigma of the black dog I was constantly worried that I would be found out.

So I invested vast amounts of energy into covering him up.

Keeping up an emotional lie is exhausting.

Black dog could make me think and say negative things.

He could make me irritable and difficult to be around.

He would take my love and bury my intimacy.

He loved nothing more than to wake me up with highly repetitive and negative thinking.

He also liked to remind me how exhausted I was going to be the next day.

Having a black dog in your life isn’t so much about feeling a bit down, sad or blue...

at its worst it’s about being devoid of feeling altogether.

As I got older the black dog got bigger and he started hanging around all the time.

I’d chase him off with whatever I thought might send him running.

But more often than not he’d come out on top going down became easier than getting up again.

So I became rather good at self medication...which never really helped.

Eventually I felt totally isolated from everything and everyone.

The black dog had finally succeeded in hijacking my life.

When you lose all joy in life you can begin to question what the point of it is.

Thankfully this was the time that I sought professional help.

This was my first step towards recovery and a major turning point in my life.

I learnt that it doesn’t matter who you are, 

the black dog affects millions and millions of people; it is an equal opportunity mongrel.

I also learnt that there was no silver bullet or magic pill.

Medication can help some and others might need a different approach altogether.

I also learnt that being emotionally genuine and authentic to those who are close to you,

can be an absolute game changer.

Most importantly I learnt not to be afraid of the black dog and I taught him a few new tricks of my own.

The more tired and stressed you are the louder he barks,

so it’s important to learn how to quiet your mind.

It’s been clinically proven that regular exercise can be as effective for treating mild to moderate depression as antidepressants.

So go for a walk or a run and leave the mutt behind.

Keep a mood journal; getting your thoughts on paper can be cathartic and often insightful,

Also keep track of the things that you have to be grateful for.

The most important thing to remember is that no matter how bad it gets…if you take the right steps, talk to the right people, black dog days can and will pass.

I wouldn’t say that I’m grateful for the black dog but he has been an incredible teacher.

He forced me to re-evaluate and simplify my life.

I learnt that rather than running away from my problems it’s better to embrace them.

The black dog may always be part of my life but he will never be the beast that he was.

We have an understanding.

I’ve learnt through knowledge, patience, discipline and humour the worst black dog can be made to heal.

If you are in difficulty, never be afraid to ask for help.

There is absolutely no shame in doing so,

the only shame is missing out on life.