Be available for your children 我在

• Notice times when your kids are most likely to talk — for example, at bedtime, before dinner, in the car — and be available.注意孩子最有可能说话的时间 - 例如，在睡觉前，晚餐前，在车里 ——我都在。

• Start the conversation; it lets your kids know you care about what's happening in their lives.在沟通的一开始，就要注意让你的孩子知道你关心他们生活中发生的事情。

• Find time each week for a one-on-one activity with each child, and avoid scheduling other activities during that time.找出每周与每个孩子一对一的活动时间，并避免在此期间安排其他活动。

• Learn about your children's interests — for example, favorite music and activities — and show interest in them.去学习了解孩子们有兴趣的事情（比如他们喜欢的音乐和活动）并且兴致勃勃。

• Initiate conversations by sharing what you have been thinking about rather than beginning a conversation with a question.通过分享你的所思所想而不是问题来开启你们之间的对话。

Let your kids know you're listening 我听

• When your children are talking about concerns, stop whatever you are doing and listen.停下你手上的事情，去听孩子在讨论的内容。

• Express interest in what they are saying without being intrusive.不打断，对孩子的话表现出兴致。

• Listen to their point of view, even if it's difficult to hear.倾听他们想表达的观点，即使很难发现。

• Let them complete their point before you respond.在你回应之前，先听完。

• Repeat what you heard them say to ensure that you understand them correctly.复核你听到的，以保证你理解了它们。

Respond in a way your children will hear 我回应

• Soften strong reactions; kids will tune you out if you appear angry or defensive.和善而坚定的回应；孩子会识别你的愤怒和防御。

• Express your opinion without putting down theirs; acknowledge that it's okay to disagree.表达你的看法而不是放下他们的；认可不代表认同。

• Resist arguing about who is right. Instead say, "I know you disagree with me, but this is what I think."拒绝争论谁才是正确。可以说：你可以不同意，但这就是我的观点。

• Focus on your child's feelings rather than your own during your conversation.注意孩子们的感受，而非谈话的内容。

Remember: 提示

• Ask your children what they may want or need from you in a conversation, such as advice, simply listening, help in dealing with feelings or help solving a problem.要问孩子，他们需要从谈话中获得什么，比如建议，倾听，情绪的处理或者问题的解决。

• Kids learn by imitating. Most often, they will follow your lead in how they deal with anger, solve problems and work through difficult feelings.孩子通过模仿学习。他们会跟随你处理愤怒的方式，以及对问题和糟糕的感受的处理策略。

• Talk to your children — don't lecture, criticize, threaten or say hurtful things.和孩子去说话，而不是说教、评判、威胁和伤害。

• Kids learn from their own choices. As long as the consequences are not dangerous, don't feel you have to step in.孩子们要学习自己做决策。只要后果不是危险的，你完全不需要介入。

• Realize your children may test you by telling you a small part of what is bothering them. Listen carefully to what they say, encourage them to talk and they may share the rest of the story.你要意识到，你的孩子可能会通过告诉你一小部分困扰来测试你的反应。认真地听他们说什么，鼓励他们讲更多，然后你会发现故事的全部。

Parenting is hard work 亲子教育绝非易事

• Listening and talking is the key to a healthy connection between you and your children. But parenting is hard work and maintaining a good connection with teens can be challenging, especially since parents are dealing with many other pressures. If you are having problems over an extended period of time, you might want to consider consulting with a mental health professional to find out how they can help。倾听和表达是联结你和孩子之间的健康关系的钥匙。育儿是一项艰苦的工作，与青春期的孩子们保持较好的关系更是一个极具挑战的事情，尤其是当父母们还有面临生活中的其他压力。如果您长时间存在这方面的困扰，您可能需要考虑咨询心理专家，以了解他们可以提供怎样的帮助。